Parenting through the Covid-19 pandemic has been really difficult for so many reasons. But it is the decision overload surrounding pandemic parenting that has made the whole ordeal incredibly stressful. Making decisions for the benefit of your kids at any time can be challenging, so having to do so with consideration of a dangerous virus only complicates the issue.

From decisions about isolating from families and friends, to trying to figure out whether to send your kids to school or childcare and deciding whether or not to vaccinate yourself or your children, pandemic parenting in 2021 has led to decision overload that in some ways been even more challenging than in 2020.

Decision Overload While Pandemic Parenting

Isolating From Family and Friends

Back in 2020, most families took the initial lockdown seriously. They immediately began isolating from anyone outside of their household. Of course for a variety of reasons, this was not possible for every family. But it was common practice early on in pandemic parenting. As things started getting better with the pandemic, many families started loosening their isolation practices. Whether that meant expanding the social circle to a bubble of other households, or trying to get “back to normal,” there was a clear shift from the complete isolation of the beginning of the pandemic to the time when case numbers were going down.

But there are other factors at play now. Case numbers have gone back up in many parts of the country and world. The Delta variant has become a new fear. And most adults have the option to get vaccinated. So how are parents supposed to decide who they are exposing their kids to?

This has led to intense decision overload for many parents. Many parents are having to decide whether or not to allow extended family members to spend time with their kids. And there is a possibility for guilt no matter what decision is made. A mom may feel guilty keeping her children from her unvaccinated mother-in-law, but would also feel guilty exposing them to someone of higher risk unnecessarily.

Covid-19 has made it more difficult than ever before to make everyone happy, but the decisions must be made. There is no right decision when it comes to who to expose your kids too. Circumstances are different for every family. But this is a huge cause for decision overload and stress in 2021.

Going Back To School or Childcare

Many school-aged kids participated in virtual learning at the start of the pandemic. There wasn’t really another option. But in 2021, many schools began reopening for in-person learning. That has put many families in the tough spot of having to decide whether or not to send their children back to the classroom or keep them for independent study.

This isn’t just true for families with school-aged kids. For families with young children not yet in school, there are similar considerations about sending their little ones back into childcare. For many, there isn’t another option – for financial reasons, both parents (or a single parent) must work, making childcare is a necessity. But for those families that do have some amount of choice, they are faced with big decisions to consider.

These are not easy decisions, nor are they decisions that can be taken lightly. There absolutely is risk involved with kids being around other kids, especially in age groups that are not yet eligible to be vaccinated. The Delta variant of the Covid-19 virus has only exaggerated that risk. But there are also downfalls to keeping the kids at home. Will they miss out academically? Is it good for their mental health to be kept from friends for so long? Who will stay home with the kids? These questions have created decision overload for many parents, making pandemic parenting in 2021 incredibly stressful.

Vaccinations

Vaccinations are perhaps the most overwhelming topic when it comes to decision overload in 2021. At the beginning of the year, only a limited category of people were even eligible to receive any of the Covid-19 vaccines. By fall, at least in the US, everybody ages 12 and up has had the opportunity to become fully vaccinated. A lot has changed in a short amount of time, and parents have had to make a lot of decisions along the way.

Firstly, parents have had to decide for themselves whether or not to get a Covid-19 vaccine. There has been quite a bit of tension surrounding this decision for the typical adult. Questions include how far apart doses should be to which variation of the vaccine is best to receive. For pregnant and breastfeeding mothers, this decision has been even more complex.

I had my second son in February 2021, and was vaccinated while breastfeeding shortly after when I became eligible. But at that time, it was extremely difficult to find valid information about the safety of the vaccine for pregnant and breastfeeding women. I had to rely on what little research I could fine and the advice of my doctors to make a decision for myself and my family. This is a decision many families have had to make, and while more information has become available as time has gone on, it is still not easy.

More recently, older children have become eligible for the vaccine in the US. This has put many families in the spot of deciding whether or not to vaccinate their teens. Eventually younger kids may be eligible as well, and families will yet again have to make a hard decision.

Not only have parents had to make decisions of whether or not they and their families should get vaccinated, but also whether or not they should expose their children to others who have chosen not to be vaccinated. This has added to the decision overload, especially because there is possibility for strained relationships when parents choose to keep their children from unvaccinated relatives and friends.

What Can Parents Do About Decision Overload?

Unfortunately, most of the pandemic-related decisions having to be made are unavoidable. But what can parents do to limit the effects of decision overload on their mental health? First, it is vital that parents work through decisions together – though they may disagree on certain points, this united front will keep both parents from feeling like they carry the responsibility of the decisions solely.

Also, it is important for parents to know that they can’t have all the answers. There is no one best choice – that’s why it’s so hard. Parents must give themselves grace right now. We are all doing the best that we can to make the best decisions for our families, and that is all we can do.

Last, but certainly not least, parents need to remember to take care of themselves. Whether that looks like getting time alone outside of the house, or attending therapy to process the experiences of the pandemic, it is necessary that parents are engaging in self-care.

For Covid-19 related information and guidelines, refer to the CDC website. For more about why pandemic parenting sucks, check out this post.