Parenting at any time is hard – I truly think any parent would agree with this on some level. But parenting in a pandemic has been a whole other beast. 

When the Covid-19 pandemic began shutting down the country in March 2020, I was in the first year of my teaching career with an 18-month-old at home. Nearly a year later in February 2021, my husband and I welcomed our second son into our family as the pandemic raged on. We have been through a lot as parents in the past year and a half. 

While my family has been lucky to have the support of loved ones nearby through this whole ordeal, the challenges we have had to face together have been plentiful. Reflecting on the struggles, I have realized six reasons why parenting during the pandemic has, for lack of a better word, sucked.

Six Reasons Why Parenting During a Pandemic Sucks

6. Fear

When I think back to March 2020, I immediately picture myself at my kitchen counter in California watching news videos about Covid-19 raveging New York City while my toddler played at my feet. I was SCARED.

Could we see our families beyond our home? My parents were such a support for us, helping with childcare and social interaction – could we not see them anymore? How long would this go on? 

How were we supposed to get groceries? If my partner went to the store, would he track the virus into our home? Should he wipe the bags down and leave his contaminated shoes and clothes outside the door?

I do not consider myself a germaphobe – in fact I often take the mindset that exposure to the regular germs we encounter in daily life builds our immune systems. But all that changed in March 2020. I found myself fearful and panicked thinking about how this new coronavirus could infect us and take over our lives. 

Back in the early months of the pandemic, we had very little understanding of the virus and how it affected kids. All I knew is that it was killing a lot of people, and making many more people incredibly sick. The fear of what would happen if my son got sick was terrifying. It was all-consuming at times. And through it all, I had to keep parenting. 

5. Work/Life Balance

For working parents, the pandemic brought on some strange challenges as many began working from home (we all remember the BBC dad, right?) 

As a teacher, I was forced out of my classroom and into the spare bedroom upstairs. My young toddler was constantly shouting to me from outside the bedroom door. I was posting assignments and responding to students in the evenings when their parents were home to help.

I never got a true break from work, and I also never got a break from the demands of being home. 

On my lunch break I’d do dishes. When my son went to bed, I responded to emails. 

Boundaries between work and home are so important, and the pandemic challenged that for me and so many parents. 

4. Stuck Together 

On a similar note, quarantine and lock downs forced many families to be together during every waking hour. And sure, for some families, this may not have been a big deal. But for people like me who need time away to recharge, this was rough.

I love my son. I love playing with him and watching him grow. But I also need breaks.

For the first couple months of the pandemic, my partner and I decided to separate our small family from everyone outside of our household, including my parents who helped with childcare. Our family-of-three was together 24/7, and it was not good. We filled our days as best we could by going walks, camping indoors, and watching too much TV, but the days were long.

It is normal to want time away, even if just for a few hours. And it can be hard to function as a fulfilled individual when you can’t get that. 

My partner and I were constantly butting heads, and I was completely burnt out on my toddler. Not a great way to feel.

3. Missing Out

In more than a year of lockdowns, quarantines, school closures, and modified public spaces, everyone has missed out on important things. Graduations, funerals, weddings (🙋🏼‍♀️)… so many important events were put on hold.

For families with kids, this was intensely true. Kids had to miss school, and all the time with friends that that brings. They missed out on swim lessons and family gatherings, dance recitals and playdates. 

My family welcomed a new baby in February 2021. Only my husband could be in the hospital with me. My first-born didn’t get to meet his baby brother until we arrived home a few days later.

It’s hard not to dwell on what was missed. I firmly believe that health and safety comes first, but that doesn’t take away from the sadness of not having the experiences that we all hoped for. 

2. Decision Overload

I’ve always found decision making hard. What should my major in college be? What should we name our kids? 

The pandemic multiplied the stress around making decisions by a thousand. Along with my partner, I had to start making decisions about whether to let my kids see their grandparents, how to handle child care, and whether or not to get a new vaccine while breastfeeding. 

And with all of these decisions, there was no “right” answer. I could research all I wanted (and I did), but I still had to be the one making the decisions. 

And sometimes the decisions I wanted to make were different from that of my partner. Or I changed my mind. Or there was a lot of pressure to act against my instinct. 

Having a newborn at home, there are already so many decisions to make to keep the baby safe. Questions about Covid and the vaccines and who should be able to hold the baby… the list goes on and on. It’s been a lot.

 1. Having to be Strong Through it All

For many reasons, including those listed above, the pandemic has been really hard on many people’s mental health. And when you have kids at home, you don’t really have a choice but to stay strong for them. 

Some families lost loved ones and had to process that in front of their children. Others lost jobs and had to figure out how to support their families with a brave face. 

And we all have had to help our children process the fear and sadness of it all as well. That is no easy task when you are dealing with your own anxieties. 

Many people have lived the past year with a cloud hanging over them. And when you have kids, you try everything in your power to not let the cloud affect them. The pressure of trying to protect your kids from the pain of the world only adds to the exhaustion.

Giving Yourself Grace

This past year and a half of parenting has been harder than I ever expected it to be. And I know I’m not alone in that. 

But we have made it through to a time where we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And we have done our best, whatever that may look like. 

We must give ourselves grace during this time. The parenting challenges that we have all faced are unprecedented. Give yourself love for everything you have done, and know that you have been strong beyond belief.