Life, Motherhood

5 Secrets For Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood

When you become a mom, it can feel like everything changes. All of a sudden, you become wrapped up in the exhaustion and love and fear that comes with bringing home a new baby. It can be magical, but can also feel extremely isolating and all-consuming. You may find yourself struggling with loss of identity as you step into your new role. Rediscovering yourself after motherhood can be a challenge, but is a necessary on the journey to living a fulfilling life as a mom and beyond.

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In the early stages of motherhood, I felt paralyzed by the sudden and immense changes that I faced. My body looked and felt different, I had a new title, and my priorities had completely shifted. I found myself questioning who I was, and if I would ever feel like myself again.

But I did. I became an even grander, more motivated version of me. These are my secrets for rediscovering yourself after motherhood.

The Secrets For Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood

Spend Time Alone

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In the first weeks and months (and sometimes even years) of your little one’s life, you spend a lot of time together. As amazing as it is to feel so needed and desired, it can also feel somewhat suffocating. It often feels impossible to get a break and take a moment to feel like more than just a mom.

When you are not getting time to yourself, it can be hard to see a life beyond postpartum.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to prioritize time alone. Maybe get out and go for a walk sans kids. And if is at all possible, try and find a way to be home alone. Maybe your partner, child’s grandparent, or a friend can take your babes while you spend even just an hour relaxing in silence. Having space from your role as a mother even just for a short amount of time can really help you to feel more like yourself amidst all of the changes.

Do Something You Enjoy

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As a mom, it is easy to get caught up in taking care your family and to forget to fill your own cup. And when you do get a break, it can be hard to know what to do (if you’re like me, you might just default to a nap). But it is so so important that you try to do the things that you enjoyed before motherhood.

Whether you are an avid reader, a workout fanatic, or a budding watercolor artist, finding time to do what lights you up is crucial to rediscovering yourself after motherhood. I think sometimes we feel guilty taking time apart from our children to do things that solely bring us joy, and fail to recognize that in doing so we are taking care of ourselves in a way that allows us to be better mothers.

If you feel like you don’t even know what you enjoy anymore (that was me 🙋🏼‍♀️), try new things. Learn to knit, start a yoga routine, or join a club. You never know, you might find something that fills you with joy like never before. Something that is all yours to enjoy in your moments of freedom.

Journal

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Becoming a parent brings about an incredible amount of change to your life. Even if you are fully prepared to bring your baby home, the transition can cause a lot to happen internally.

Journaling can be a great way to work through these changes purposefully and effectively. When we are so busy taking care of our kids and our home and our work, it can be difficult to step back and recognize who we are as an individual. Writing in a journal can give you the space to do this reflection.

There are two easy types of journaling that I personally find to be helpful in strengthening my identity within and beyond motherhood. Sometimes I journal about my day and how I’m feeling about things going on in my life. When I write like this consistently, I can start to understand my own needs and desires and learn how to better take care of myself.

I also love keeping a gratitude journal. In this journal, I write down things that I am grateful for for a set amount of time. Doing this helps me to embrace what I have in my life and feel more fulfilled.

If you are new to journaling or have a hard time staying consitent, it might be helpful to purchase a journal with prompts. This journal asks a new question about motherhood everyday for a year, and has space for five years worth of responses. It is a great way to start your journaling journey with intention and consistency.

Lean On Family and Friends

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If you are lucky enough to have a strong support system, I can’t stress this enough. Your close family and friends know you and love you – even when you feel you don’t recognize yourself. Lean into this, even if it feels uncomfortable.

You may be different after entering the motherhood phase of your life. Big life changes do have a way of expanding and changing who we are. But you are still you.

Trust that the people who love you the most know who you are and are there for you on your journey of rediscovering yourself after motherhood. Lean on your partner, lean on your best friend, lean on your siblings. Lean on other moms who embrace you in this part of your journey. If you feel you have lost sense of who you are, know that there are others who are there to guide you back to yourself.

Embrace Your New Identity

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This has been the most important component of rediscovery for me. When it comes to rediscovering yourself after motherhood, it is necessary to acknowledge and accept the changes that are sure to occur in the transition to being someone’s parent.

Becoming a mom is a big deal. It’s a huge deal. A gigantic deal.

Obviously, life is different. And obviously, you and your identity are somewhat different.

The best thing you can do for yourself during this time of transition is to embrace the change, and find joy and pride in your new role.

You are not only a mom. But you are a mom now. You are a mom on top of the many other things that you already were before having a child. That is something to celebrate, and something to embrace.

Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood Is a Journey, Not a Destination

In life, we are always changing and become new versions of ourselves. That will never stop. Keep this in mind when you feel like you have lost sense of who you are.

Through all of the exhaustion and change that comes with new motherhood, there is still a very intact, whole you underneath it all. It may be buried. It may feel difficult to uncover. But you are there. You are living through this time of your life, and will continue to redefine and adapt for the rest of your life.

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The journey to rediscovering yourself after motherhood may not be easy, but life isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it’s the struggles and questioning that help us really define and understand who we are.

Motherhood changes you, but you are still you. You always will be you. Remember that, Mama.