There is so much pressure on moms to be perfect. And yet really, there is no such thing when it comes to motherhood. Often, moms strive for this unattainable ideal without realizing that it is actually pushing them further from being a patient, fulfilled mother. When wondering how to be the best mom, the answer may surprise you. It’s not all about doing the most for your kids and fulfilling their needs alone. I have found that it is actually by taking care of yourself that you can become the best mom that you can be.

You Can’t Pour From An Empty Cup

You know that saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup?” Well, it’s true. If your own needs aren’t being met, it is incredibly challenging to meet the needs of your children.

Think about it. If you are not getting enough sleep, it is going to be hard to react calmly and effectively when your child cries. If you are dealing with unresolved stress, good luck trying to be completely present when playing with your little ones. And if you’re feeling burnt out, it’s likely the anger and frustration that come along with that will be at least partially evident to your kids.

If you want to be pouring love and care and patience into your children, you must be full enough to give. If your needs are unmet, it is going to be nearly impossible to meet the needs of your children.

Taking Care Of Yourself

These are some ways how you can take care of yourself, and in turn how you can be the best mom to your little ones. If you make these actions priorities in your life, you will be better for it.

Get Enough Sleep

This sounds so annoyingly obvious, but getting enough sleep is easier said than done. Believe me, I’m living it. When you are so busy with motherhood and work and all of the other responsibilities you might have, the evening after the kids go to bed is precious time. This part of the day might be the only time you have to just take a break (if you even get to do that). It can be tempting to stay up late to take advantage of this alone time night after night. In other words, it can be easy to consistently get an inadequate amount of sleep.

But when you’re running on fumes, you will absolutely not be the best version of yourself. You will be exhausted, and likely impatient and grumpy as a result. Getting enough sleep ensures that you will be well-rested enough to tackle the responsibilities of parenthood with grace.

Feed Yourself

Again, duh, right? But do you actually take this seriously? As a busy mom, do you ever find yourself downing a cup of coffee for breakfast? Or eating your kids’ snacks and left-overs as some lunch/dinner conglomerate? I’d be lying if I said I’d never been there.

It is so, so important that you are nourishing your body. Only then can you show up as your best, healthiest self for your kids. I am not saying you have to eat fully-thought-through meals or even that your meals have to be completely “healthy.” But what I am saying is that you need to eat more than a granola bar for lunch.

Feeding yourself ensures that you can avoid becoming hangry. It also allows you to remain energized through your day. As a mom, both of these benefits are crucial for being the best you can be. By prioritizing your nourishment, you are showing up for yourself and your kids the best that you can.

Make Time For Yourself

This may be the most challenging thing on this list, but it is necessary that you take time for yourself. If you want to be a better mom this is a must. When you are so busy with all of the responsibilities of life, it can be difficult to make this happen. But it needs to be a non-negotiable. You need time to step away and actually consider your own needs so that you can be sure that you are taking steps to get those needs met.

Sometimes, you have to get creative to make sure you are getting time for yourself. Maybe you get up 15 minutes earlier for a relaxing solo yoga session. Or maybe you take a walk alone on your lunch break. Whatever it looks like in your life, you must make it happen. With this time to sit with your thoughts, you may realize what unmet needs you have. And with that knowledge, you can consider how to best support yourself. If you don’t give yourself the space to have these thoughts, you may not realize that you have unmet needs that are affecting the way you parent.

I have found that journaling is an exceptional way to spend time by yourself. Journaling allows you to process things going on in your life so that hopefully they can stop taking up space in your mind and you can more forward accordingly. If you don’t have much time to yourself during the week, using what little time you do have to journal can be a great option.

Make Time For Your Relationship

On a similar note, it is important that you are prioritizing quality time with your partner (if you have one). When you have kids, it can be easy to forget that you and your partner need time and space to grow as a couple apart from the rest of your family. But spending quality time together truly does make a difference.

It is vital that you are feeding your relationship so that you can be there for one another. Parenting is hard. Supporting each other makes it a bit more manageable. But it can be easy to fall into habits of not putting energy into your relationship. This is especially true when there are so many other things going on with kids involved.

Making time for your relationship can make you a better parent. Even if you are just spending some time together chatting after the kids go to bed, quality time and genuine connection can build a stronger partnership as a couple and as parents. Couples counseling can also help you and your partner maintain a happy and healthy relationship.

Therapy

From personal experience, I can tell you that therapy can be an incredibly valuable means of taking care of yourself. And it can absolutely help you be a better mom, whatever that means to you. I have struggled with my mental health, particularly after the birth of my second child, and it was absolutely affecting the way I was parenting. Going to therapy (and taking a prescribed medication to help manage my depression and anxiety) has helped immensely. I am a more patient, present mom because of the strategies I have learned through therapy.

While not every mom will feel like they need therapy, I believe it can truly be a beneficial experience for anyone. Therapy is a space to consider and address your own needs, and doing this is sure to help you become a more fulfilled person and likely a better mom. If you’re wondering if therapy might be a good choice for you, don’t hesitate to look into it more.

How To Be The Best Mom: It Starts With Being The Best, Most Fulfilled You

Taking care of yourself is so important if you want to be the best mom you can be. Not only does taking care of yourself put you in a better mindset and give you the physical and mental energy to get through the challenges of parenthood, but it also sets a good example for your children.

When we have needs that are unmet, it is hard to be patient and present with our children. Making sure that you are providing yourself with the care and love that you need ensures that you can show up as your best self as often as possible.

Check out this list of hobbies for busy moms for other ideas of how to find fulfillment in life outside of your role as a parent!