This is pretty obvious, but going back to work as a new mom is hard. It can be a stressful, overwhelming, and heartbreaking time. And I want to acknowledge it so that hopefully other moms going through it can feel less alone in their own journeys. Here are some of the reasons why this chapter is so difficult.

Why Going Back To Work As A New Mom Is So Hard

Logistics

There is so much to figure out logistically when you plan on going back to work. Childcare is obviously a high priority logistic, because it has to be figured out beforehand. There are so many questions to ask: Will your partner be home at all while you work? What is your childcare budget? Do you have family who can help? Whatever the answers, you will need to have childcare nailed down before you can head back to work.

But there are other logistics that you will need to figure out if you are going back to work. How will you schedule doctor’s appointments, and will you, your partner, or someone else accompany the kids? How will they get to and from school? What happens if your kid is sick and you need to stay home?

All of these logistics can be a lot to process, and make going back to work stressful.

Missing Your Kids

Emotionally, going back to work can be insanely difficult because you have to be away from your kids. It may be the first time you have had to be away from your new baby for more than a couple hours since they were born. And your older kids may be used to having you home. This transition can be emotionally straining for everyone.

It can be hard to process all of the feelings that come with missing your kids when you are going back to work. You may feel fear because you are no longer right there to take care of your baby’s needs. You may feel sad that you won’t be able to snuggle up whenever you want. There may be some disappointment in knowing that you may miss something while you are away. And you might have some feelings of guilt knowing that it will be a transition for your little ones as well – more on that later.

Missing your kids while at work can be heart wrenching. But what makes it more challenging is that the heart wrenching feelings often go invalidated. Just because you miss your kids doesn’t mean you can mope around at work and slack in productivity. You have to keep doing your job regardless of how sad you feel.

These feelings can happen whether you are looking forward to going back to work or not. Even if you are a working mom by choice like I am, the feelings of missing your kids while at work can sometimes be overwhelming.

Pumping

If you are a new mom who plans to pump breast milk when you go back to work, figuring out everything that needs to be figured out can feel like a nightmare. It is A LOT. You have to figure out where and when you will pump, how you will clean the pump parts, how you will store and transport the milk, and how you will advocate for yourself.

Depending on your job and your employer, this process will be easier for some moms than others. As a teacher, it has been challenging for me to make sure that I am able to pump consistently every day when my job does not allow me to simply step away whenever. I have had to learn to advocate for myself and my baby, and do what I need to do.

But that process can be exhausting. And even if figuring out all the details goes smoothly, the act of pumping at work can be tiring. It is one more thing that adds onto the challenges of going back to work. If you will be in this position soon, check out this post I created that details how you can prepare for pumping at work.

Working Mom Guilt

Feeling guilty about leaving your kids and going back to work can be one of the hardest parts of the whole transition. As moms, we get a lot of messages about how much our kids need us and how it is our job to put them first always. And while I don’t disagree that those messages have some truth, it doesn’t mean that we should lose ourselves in motherhood.

Unfortunately, having these messages engrained in us can lead to feelings of guilt going back to work. Working mom guilt can happen whether you are going back to work for your own fulfillment or because of financial reasons. It can affect all working moms.

Dealing with these feelings can be really hard and leave us feeling defeated in the process of going back to work. I created this post to help working moms overcome working mom guilt.

Going Back To Work is Hard, But You’ve Got It

All of this isn’t to say that you shouldn’t go back to work or that you can’t do so happily. I actually think going back to work is really beneficial to a lot of moms for a lot of different reasons, myself included. But I do think it is important to acknowledge how difficult that transition can be.

Working moms go through a lot to make sure their needs and the needs of their families are being met. It is not easy. It can be messy and emotional and terrifying. But it can also be very worth it.

If you are a mom going back to work soon, check out this post for some ways to prepare for that transition. And if you know a mom who is going back to work soon, check in with her. Give her some love. She is doing big things, and she deserves to have her feelings acknowledged and validated.

Most importantly, mamas, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Going back to work can make life more hectic than it already was. It can be hard to fit it all in. But you have to take care of you to be able to do your job and take care of your kids. Self-care is non-negotiable. Keep that in mind as you go through this transition. You’ve got this!