4 Ways to Overcome Working Mom Guilt
Many moms feel guilt and shame for so many things. It is far too easy for moms to question themselves: Is my kid eating enough vegetables? Do I look at my phone too much? Am I reading to my toddler often enough? But working moms face the additional challenge of being away from their kids regularly. Working mom guilt is real, and it can be hard to get past.
But working mom guilt can and should be worked through. Here are four ways to start overcoming working mom guilt.
Overcoming Working Mom Guilt
Dealing with what can be overwhelming feelings of working mom guilt can feel impossible – but working through it is a journey that is well worth the effort. These tips can help you feel more content and fulfilled in your day-to-day as you attempt to balance it all.
Affirmations
Hear me out with this one. I wasn’t always a believer in affirmations. Like what could saying something to yourself do to make you actually feel and be better?
But affirmations can really work. Research has shown that consistent self-affirmation can actually affect your brain in a measurable way. If you say something enough, it can actually lead you to believing it to be true. In a lot of ways, you create your own reality. Practicing affirmations with regularity can help establish the reality you create where you believe you are a worthy, incredible human.
Let’s be real – you’re a working mom – you are a worthy, incredible human. Even if you don’t feel like it all the time. Affirmations can help shift your mindset to start seeing yourself through a lens of appreciation and pride. This practice can help you mend your relationship with yourself and start to believe that you are amazing.
The best part: Practicing affirmations is easy and not too time consuming. All you need to do is spend some time during the day repeating these kind words to yourself. Here is a routine you can try to start making your affirmation practice a habit:
- Find a peaceful spot in your home where you can spend a few minutes morning and night.
- Decide when you will practice affirmations. A good idea is to do it when you wake up and before you go to bed.
- Choose a few affirmations. You will repeat these out loud to yourself. Repeat each affirmation 10 times.
- Move on with your day feeling a little more affirmed.
Practicing affirmations can help you to feel better about how you live out your role as a working mom, and allow you to start overcoming feelings of working mom guilt.
Affirmations For Working Moms
I trust myself.
I am an amazing mom.
My kids are safe and loved.
I am worthy of success.
I am enough.
Recognize the Benefits
If I’m being honest, I am a better mom when I am working.
As a teacher, I spend summers home with my kids while my husband works, and simply put, it’s hard. When I’m home with my kids all the time, I constantly feel a drive to be able to do my own thing, while also feeling guilty whenever I’m not giving my kids my full attention. I see all these stay-at-home moms doing prep-intensive activities with their toddlers, and feel guilty that I don’t do those things with my own toddler. The lack of structure makes it hard for me to be productive, and I end up feeling unmotivated and unfulfilled.
With all of that, I know that being a working mom is the best choice for me. Recognizing this truth helps me when I start to feel working mom guilt creep in.
Not every working mom is a working mom by choice – there are many reasons you may work, and a big one may be finances. But whatever the reason is that you are a working mom, I believe that identifying and reflecting on the benefits of your multiple roles can help to overcome working mom guilt.
Journaling is a great way to do this reflecting. Try writing down all the ways that you and your family benefit from you being a working mom. These benefits can be anything, from bringing in income to modeling for your children what a working woman can look like, to you being a more fulfilled individual. You may find that having all of these things down on paper can help you start breaking down any working mom guilt you may have.
Schedule Time Wisely
When you are a working mom, it can feel like there are never enough hours in the day or days in the week. There is often a feeling of, “If only I had a little more time…” There’s always more work to get done, more errands to run, and more time desired with family.
Unfortunately, we can’t change the calendar or keep the sun in the sky longer. But we can be strategic about how we plan our time to maximize productiveness and prioritize family and self-care time. Making choices that allow you leave work at the workplace (at a reasonable time) and be really present with your kids when you are home can help you feel less working mom guilt.
There are many ways to plan and schedule your time effectively. The Unbusy Your Life podcast with Neill Williams is my favorite resource for learning how to fit it all in and still live a relaxed, fun life. Planning effectively is a great way to start overcoming working mom guilt and using the time you have with your kids wisely.
Self-Care
It is so so important that between your job and taking care of your kids that you are still finding time to care for yourself. Self-care should always been considered a non-negotiable. You cannot be everything that your job, your partner, or your kids need you to be if your needs are not being met. It is vital that you make time for yourself amidst your crazy schedule.
Self-care looks like a lot of different things. Maybe for you it is sitting with a good book or an inspiring journal with no interruptions. Or maybe it is going on a jog or taking a walk in nature on your own. Whatever self-care is for you, you need to make sure it is being fit into your life as a priority.
When your own needs are being met, you will be better able to show up for your kids. And the feeling you will get from being able to be completely present when you are with your kids will undoubtedly help you start overcoming feelings of working mom guilt.
If you are struggling to find ways to incorporate self-care into your life as a working mom, check out this post for some guidance. Self-care should never feel like one more thing to add to an already busy schedule – it should always be a priority.
Good-bye, Working Mom Guilt
Going back to work is hard enough – you should not have to continue living your life feeling guilty for splitting your time and energy between work and your kids. Today is the day to start working to overcome working mom guilt and feeling like an empowered working mama. You are doing big things, and you deserve to feel proud of yourself for all that you are and all that you do. Give yourself a big hug, and know that you are doing an awesome job!
These are so true, in all honesty. I was a long-time working mom before becoming a stay-at-home mom. It was the guilt of not always being around my children, especially when they were sick. And there I was, caring for my patients as a nurse.
Your tips in battling guilt as a working mom are a spot on! Caring for myself, journaling, and practicing self-affirmation are essentials to keeping my sanity intact during those working days and until now.
It’s truly hard trying to balance work and home life. But as you continue to focus on yourself and appreciate what you’ve done – everything falls into place.
Thanks for this beautiful post!
Jordan, thank you for this comment. I love knowing that this resonated with you. Being a working mom really can be so challenging both mentally and physically, and I don’t think it is talked about enough. I hope you are loving your role as a stay-at-home mama now!
I love the part about self care! It doesn’t matter if you’re a working mom or stay at home mama, self care is so important!
It really is, absolutely! Whether you go to work outside of the home, or your job is being with the kids (which is completely a job within itself), it is imperative that moms prioritize their own needs!
Been there and have DEFINITELY felt working mom guilt before (and still do!) This list will be so helpful for other moms and newer moms just getting used to managing it all!! xo
It is hard to get out of the cycle of feeling guilty! Glad you found this post to be relatable!
I need to follow this guide. It’s difficult, but I hope that I can find a good balance between work and my mom life this year.
All we can do is try our best, and hopefully these tips can help you work toward that balance! Good luck, mama.
Thank you for this! I’m getting ready to go back to work after being a stay at home mom for 7 years and I’m already starting to feel guilty! I will save these ideas, especially the affirmations.
Ah good luck, mama! It is not easy, but remember to prioritize your needs and know that you and your kids will get through the transition. You’ve got this!
Thank you!!!
Thank you for this post. I am currently a SAHM about to go back to work in a few months and I already feel guilty about it. I really needed to read this!
I’m glad this helped you! It can be hard not to feel guilty when it feels like your kids depend on you! But it’s also important to know it’s okay to let the guilt go! Good luck, mama, you’ve got this!
This is a great post! Going to send it to my mom friends who are feeling that “working mom” guilt.
Ah awesome! I hope this can help them start to overcome those feelings of guilt!
As a widow, I have to be working full time to afford living. The first two years of my son’s life, we had a nanny, then a Montessori kindergarten, and during the pandemic, when everything was closed and childcare was impossible to find, we moved from the U.S. to Europe to be with family. Here, we got excellent and almost free kindergarten, relatives nearby, and emergency care even when kindergartens are closed. It’s not easy being a single mom, but at no time did I feel guilt. Don’t we do everything humanly possible? We should be proud instead 😉
You have such an impactful story. How incredible that you have been able to acknowledge that you have nothing to feel guilty over. As moms, we do what is best for our kids (or we try to as much as we possibly can). I am so in agreement that we should be proud of all we do for our families ❤️